he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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