my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He has the fingertips of a God
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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