There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
