I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
we're so committed to being not committed
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
