Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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