I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
