oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Im part way to drunk.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
