i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
