I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
