is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
