Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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