We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Damn victory sex feels great
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
