I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
