maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
