And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
