What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
