I'd wear matching sweaters with you
im about as happy as oj after his trial
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
