She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
