She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
