Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
