We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Dick very happy bro
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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