What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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