Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
