glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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