It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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