great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Of course I have a pirate flag
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
