I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
