And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
