Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
