i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
