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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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