I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize