I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
