we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize