I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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