I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
God, I missed his penis.
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