Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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