I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
