THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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