last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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