He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize