Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
