O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize