i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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