eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
