Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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