How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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