she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
