You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
