Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wish i was in the wii world.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
