using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
