Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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