Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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