I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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