I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just invented taco cereal.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
