Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i drank out of a bidet.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I need to calm my uterus...
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