im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Randomize
