he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
