i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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