i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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