"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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