Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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