i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
