We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
